Maximal Amplitude Generator

The Maximal Amplitude Generator (or MAG) is an invention from Gil that allows the broadcast team to properly set levels on our audio equipment. It is designed to create atmospheric vibrations that move at maximal energy.

While it might seem sophisticated at first glance, it can be easily broken down into two parts:

1. A striking surface, adapted from a large culinary carbonizer. This carbonizer is normally used by molecular gastronomists to convert raw materials into a form compatible with the human digestive system.
2. A metal apportioner, normally used to divide potable liquids into practical subsets.

Operation

The MAG requires some training to properly operate. Improper use of the MAG can result in injury, physical/mental trauma, and damage to the nearby environment. Prolonged use of the MAG over time can cause hearing damage.

To operate the MAG, these conditions must first be met:

1. Proper use of the MAG requires two people. One person operates the MAG near a live microphone, usually in one of our cages. The other person is an engineer stationed at our audio board, studying and reacting to the audio levels generated by the MAG.
2. The MAG operator is encouraged to shout, "Activating MAG!" This is not strictly necessary, but some say it enhances the experience.
3. The MAG operator activates the MAG by applying kinetic energy to the apportioner, directed at the striking surface.
   1. The MAG operator must be sure to apply a firm grip to the MAG; otherwise, amplitude generation may cease without warning, and injury to bystanders or damage to the nearby surroundings may result.
4. Repeat previous step until the engineer communicates a signal to deactivate the MAG.
5. The MAG operator is encouraged to shout, "Deactivating MAG!" Good communication is the core of any functional team.
6. To deactivate the MAG, the MAG operator must stop applying kinetic energy to the apportioner. The striking surface may continue to generate amplitude for several seconds; this is normal behavior.

Future Plans

In the future, the MAG may be operated by a robot instead of a human. This would allow the engineer to perform their duties without requiring a human operator. We anticipate little labor strife or union actions over this development.